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Jun wrote a poem about the garden after rain. She asked Maya and Pip to listen before she copied it into the station book.
Pip said it was wonderful. Maya liked the opening, but one line confused her: The silver kettle carried the sunset home.
She did not want to hurt Jun’s feelings, so she nearly said it was wonderful too. Instead, she asked whether Jun wanted only a listener or suggestions as well.
“Suggestions,” Jun said. “I am still making it.”
Maya explained what she could picture in the opening and which line she could not understand. Jun laughed softly. “That kettle was meant to be a puddle. I changed the image and forgot to change the word.”
Pip noticed that two later lines repeated the same idea. Jun chose to keep one and shorten the other. She did not take every suggestion, but she thanked both friends for being specific.
When the poem was ready, Maya read it aloud slowly. The puddle now carried the sunset’s colors, and the ending left room for a quiet breath.
Jun wrote her name beneath it and added THANK YOU TO MY FIRST LISTENERS.
Maya walked home thinking about the difference between being gentle and saying nothing useful. Her question had given Jun a choice, and her careful words had helped the poem become more like the one Jun meant to write.
Save to my Moon Library A MOON MINUTE WITH NOVAQuestion 1 of 3 · The Poem with a Borrowed Word
What did Maya ask before suggesting changes?
Take your time. You can look back at the story.
A little question to share.
How could you give feedback that is kind, specific, and wanted?
